The German Der Postillon (similar to The Onion) has nice recipies for what you can cook from pasta, toilet paper and desinfectant: https://www.der-postillon.com/2020/03/corona-quarantaene.html . Google translate seems to do a decent job on it: https://translate.google.com/translate?hl=&sl=auto&tl=en&u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.der-postillon.com%2F2020%2F03%2Fcorona-quarantaene.html